He Speaks My Language

If God is all-knowing, and He is, then He knows every language, every dialect, and every culture in the world.  He is also loving and desiring of intimacy.  He would never speak to me in Chinese and expect me to communicate with Him because I don't know Chinese.  He doesn't speak to me in Spanish either.  I know some Spanish and can find my way to a taco and a bathroom, but I'm not fluent in the language and God wants me to communicate with Him.  Communication, by the way, is a process of sending AND receiving understandable messages.  I cannot see His hands or His face, so I don't get His body language.   He wants me to communicate with Him.
One of the ways He speaks is through the written word.  Very few people around the globe can fluently translate that Word in its original form.  He has enabled scholars to translate His words into a language I can understand.  I don't want to debate which translation is better or worse because each translation of the Word of God loses its potency as there are words in each language that are richest in their native tongue and will not translate directly.  I am still grateful that there are many translations of God's Word available to me in the English language so that I may know God more and more by reading His messages to me.  In fact, I have several digital and printed translations of the Bible so that I can more easily understand what is written down for me to read.  I love to hear the scriptures read aloud too, especially the book of Isaiah.
Another way that God communicates to me is through music and He knows the many styles of music that I like to hear and gives me what I need through a melody often times.  I believe that others hear from God through music that I don't like.  God wants to be intimate with me and He shows me love through my language and not even my mother's.
He also speaks to me through others who love Him.  I don't always hear Him through their rehearsed messages or recitations, but through unrehearsed loving acts and words.  Jesus told His disciples not to worry about what they were to say to the people because His words would be in their mouths by the power of Holy Spirit.  That's crazy!  If I want to share the gospel with someone, I often think I must be prepared with a proper message.  Well, I get that message by studying His Word and putting it in my heart that it would be on my lips when Holy Spirit brings it back to my memory.  I once planned a whole conversation and in the end, I didn't speak a word of it to my friend.  I spoke words of love that even surprised me.  He responded to those words and I really don't think He would have responded to my original message.
Sometimes I don't hear the message that God is sending to me because I've already judged the speaker and am thinking of other things as they speak.  He speaks my language and He is patiently sending an obedient one to deliver it and yet, I shut my ears because I think I've already got the answer or I know more than the speaker or .... well I come up with many excuses.
God often speaks to me through the way I speak to my children.  He is a Father you know.  "If you do that, you'll get hurt!" or "Why can't you obey me the first time I ask you to do something!"  I've actually stopped in the midst of scolding my kids and think, "Oh that's what You've been trying to tell me!"  I've learned so much about God in the 9+ years that I've been a mother.  God is slower to anger than I am, but He still becomes angry and disciplines the ones He loves.
God also speaks to my heart in His still, small voice.  I remember a simple one when I heard, "You need to carry that [box] with 2 hands."  I still thought I'd get more done faster if I carried one box in each hand and the box that I knew He spoke of ripped at the handle and spilled its contents of tiny pieces of trash all over the carpet.  It took me longer to clean up the huge mess than it would of if I had heeded His voice.  He doesn't always just speak huge revelation about international crises, He wants to guide our steps.  He wants us to turn right when He says to do so, often to avoid turmoil.  He wants us to help the poor man trying to balance his large bag of groceries and broken bicycle when He says to do so.
Don't expect Him to speak to your heart in King James English because you don't speak that way.  He may bring a verse to your mind in the King James text, because He knows you'll understand that, but when He speaks intimately to you with direction other than passages like those, He will speak your language.  I've not heard Him tell me, "Speak thou to thine pastor about such things as these."  He said, "Respond to what Pastor ______ just said with these words... ."  I have spoken on behalf of God and inserted rehearsed lines from growing up in charismatic churches.  "The Lord would say to you."  or "Thus says the Lord."  It's not wrong, but if I let Him put each word in my mouth, it would surely be in the language that the receiver of the message would understand.  His desire is to relate with us.
I believe that God still speaks today.  I've even had Him speak to me through people whom I would consider evil.  He used a donkey to speak to Balaam, so why wouldn't he use any means necessary to get through to me.  I don't want it to take a donkey to get through to me.  It's not fun to hear things in that way.  Lord, open my ears to hear Your voice!  I want to know You more!

I am His Bride

The idea that I am betrothed to Messiah is so complex.  It is beyond what I can comprehend and yet I believe it with all my heart.  The New Covenant makes provision for me and I am so blessed.  There are so many examples in the Word about His wooing us back unto Himself.  The parable of the lost sheep, the book of Hosea, Isaiah 62 (Hephzibah), Song of Songs.  I am my Beloved's and He is mine!  Now I watch and wait like the 10 virgins.  Will I be foolish or will I constantly be in a state of readiness?

He Opened Not His Mouth

Through my journey in life, I've been in several struggles in relationships.  It has not been until the most recent years that I've learned to control my tongue.  I guess I could say that I am learning still, but am less inclined to rant about my troubles.  The Lord had me throw away journal pages that reflected certain situations which only stirred up bitterness, but scars from past relationships are still present.  

As I'm sure many have experienced, my poor experience with someone caused a severing of that friendship for a time.  During the whole struggle, the Lord impressed upon me to not speak of it, especially to others with whom this friend spent a lot of time.  During that period, this friend continued to rant openly about me and say hurtful things to me.  During that course of time, several of my friends began to shun me and to this day, my attempts to reconcile with these others are futile.  I have reconciled with the first friend, but the damage has already been done to my reputation.  It has been years since that argument, but when I can't say, "Hello!" to certain friends, it really hurts.

I really wanted to avenge myself and make sure everyone knew my side of the story. While I was not guiltless in the situation, as no one really ever is entirely guiltless, I didn't want to be the bad guy.  When I took it to the Lord, He continued to tell me to be silent.  I was not to share my distress with anyone who befriended this one.

Today, as I browsed Facebook, I saw posts to this friend from another.  These two are still friends with each other while I have been "unfriended" by one.  My messages and requests for friendship have been rejected by this one who I cared deeply for.  I've seen others experience these same rejections, but in face to face meetings and not just Facebook.  Many of the rejected are pastors, servants of the King of Kings.  Why?

Jesus was accepted and worshiped and cheered in His triumphal entry to Jerusalem and then in a blink, the same people shouted, "Crucify Him!"  His broken heart had to be so much bigger because of the many that had rejected Him.  His love is so great for them! So much greater is His love than mine for the ones who reject me.  And even still, He did not open His mouth.

Isaiah 53:7  (NIV)  He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

He bore all of the rejection, the physical and emotional abuse.  He bore the sins of man toward others and toward Himself and he FORGAVE it all.  He purchased my salvation with His blood.  With just one word, He could have stopped all of this that came against Him, but for my sake and humanity's sake, He chose silence and ultimately the cross.  

So the next time I suffer emotionally from the slander against me, I must remember Jesus' sacrifice and the multiplied sorrow that He must have felt.  His love is not comprehensible to me, so I cannot comprehend the ache His heart must have felt that day.  I don't believe it is wrong to mourn the loss of a friendship.  In that, consider His suffering and pain as so many are lost or have turned from Him.  

Father, my heart cries out with yours and that of Your Son over those who are lost.  Stir their hearts, O God! Help me to do my part to draw them unto You.  I know that You don't want any to perish!  Give me a heart for the lost!

Take the Dollar

I have heard this particular scripture at least 4 times in the past week and finally today, my 9 year old son says, "You know, like the people that were hired at different times and all made the same amount of money."  God speaks to me through my children often and this time I took notice.  So before I go any further, the passage:

Matthew 20 (The Message)A Story About Workers 

1 "God's kingdom is like an estate manager who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 They agreed on a wage of a dollar a day, and went to work.3 "Later, about nine o'clock, the manager saw some other men hanging around the town square unemployed. 4 He told them to go to work in his vineyard and he would pay them a fair wage.5 They went. 6 At five o'clock he went back and found still others standing around. He said, 'Why are you standing around all day doing nothing?7 ' "They said, 'Because no one hired us.' "He told them to go to work in his vineyard.8 "When the day's work was over, the owner of the vineyard instructed his foreman, 'Call the workers in and pay them their wages. Start with the last hired and go on to the first.'9 "Those hired at five o'clock came up and were each given a dollar. 10 When those who were hired first saw that, they assumed they would get far more. But they got the same, each of them one dollar.11 Taking the dollar, they groused angrily to the manager,12 'These last workers put in only one easy hour, and you just made them equal to us, who slaved all day under a scorching sun.'13 "He replied to the one speaking for the rest, 'Friend, I haven't been unfair. We agreed on the wage of a dollar, didn't we? 14 So take it and go. I decided to give to the one who came last the same as you. 15 Can't I do what I want with my own money? Are you going to get stingy because I am generous?'16 "Here it is again, the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first."

The Lord showed me some time ago through prophetic words from some well-known men and women of God that He is about to bring in a great harvest.  I believe this to be true.  At the time I had been praying for several prodigals that I know as well as many that I've never heard of.  He told me simply that the church is not ready for the return of the prodigal.  Not speaking just about the church I attended, but the church as a whole.  We feel entitled to the titles that we currently have.  We feel that we've served our time faithfully and that we should be rewarded with kingdom promotions and esteem.
I saw a scenario where someone, whom I had watched make bad choices, came back just as I had prayed and then was promoted to a position above me.  Even though it was not a reality, but a vision of sorts, I became immediately offended.  Why should I, who has served faithfully and proven my worth, not become the leader and this one who just returned from the slop heap, be under me?  I deserve to be in charge?  Reading this, one might think that I sound petty, but I dare you to put yourself in that scenario.  Are you any less petty?
I have recently relocated to a new town, a new home and a new church.  In fact, I've only been in this church for about 3 weeks and so I'm asking God, why do I need to hear this lesson about the workers?  I'm one of the most recent hired.
 --- This might sound a bit strange, but the Lord's been dealing with me to type this blog for a few days now and I didn't know where it was going until I started typing.  In fact I knew I was to hold off on the title until it was complete and I am just now finding out why. ---
He doesn't want me to be afraid to take the dollar even though I just started the job and those ahead of me will receive the same wage.  I've been so convicted about my seniority issues that I've held for years and now I am seeing a whole new view to this, "inside, outside, upside-down Kingdom."  I'm so undone right now, I can hardly go on.  How can I "take the dollar" and still be humble?  It's that fine line between confidence and humility.  If one does not take what the Lord gives to them in the name of humility, it is false-humility and disobedience.  Isn't it He who qualified me?  Isn't it He who offered for me to join in His work?
I believe this message is for the prodigals as well.  He is calling you home.  He has a place for you and He intends for you to take it.  Sure, there will be those who are offended by your growth in Him, but Who has called you?  Who has named you?  Where does your fear and trembling lie?  Do you fear God or man?  He is the one pulling you up from the miry clay.  Stand on the Rock!
Now that I have at least a portion of the answer to my question, I have more questions.
No matter where you stand in the line of workers: first, second, fifth or last hired; trust that God is the one who offers the wage/reward and we need to trust that He knows what He is doing.

Take my focus from the wage, to the work, Lord.  Most importantly let my focus be on the One who called me in the first place.  Help me to have confidence in You alone and what You have for me to do.  Help me to do it with all my might and keep my eyes on You!

His Yoke

Matthew 11:28-30 CEV If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. 29 Take the yoke I give you. Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest. 30 This yoke is easy to bear, and this burden is light.

This past week, I saw this passage in a devotional of some sort and I don't want to try and reiterate it without giving credit. Instead, I recognize that the Lord is speaking to me about His yoke because I read it again in my morning scripture time. Many times when I hear something more than once within a short time I see that I must pay attention because apparently I didn't get it the first time.
This morning as I read the scripture, it came with a new light. My family had a very difficult decision before us a few months ago to move to another town and accept a new job for my husband. We had several options at the time and wanted not just do the most lucrative thing, but what God was telling us to do. It is not an easy thing to make a decision of this magnitude. My response was to rest in Him. I immersed myself in worship and the word and just tried to remain in His presence through the whole process. In the end, our whole family was in unity about the decision and He gave us peace. Even though we liked a few of the other options, we knew in our hearts that we were doing His will.
In that experience I saw the fulfillment of Matthew 11:28-30. Without making little of the decision we were to make, I would say it was easier to give Jesus the decision burden than it is now to give him the labor burden. We are preparing our house to sell and packing for our move in just over 2 weeks and I am overwhelmed. Not just with work, but emotion of the work.
This is the only home my children have ever known. As a child I moved frequently and I've lived here for essentially 14 years. I've grown in our church family and in many ways, they know me more than my birth family. I love our kids' school and friends and community. I've invested my heart into the prayers for transformation of this area. There are many reasons that sound good to stay, but I trust that we made the right decision.
Now the work I must do physically to sell our home and move is before me. Actually, I've kept at a good pace and that in itself should not be overwhelming. I caught a nasty virus that has ailed me for about 10 days now and a few days, I was so drained that a walk across my house tired me and I would fall asleep wherever I ended up. During the height of my cold, I didn't read the Bible, I didn't turn on any music or sing, I just slept and survived.
It is beginning to sound like I'm blogging to complain about my woes, but if that is all that is conveyed, I've messed up or the reader has missed the point. The last few paragraphs explain all that I have taken upon myself. I've given Christ some of my burdens. The rest I've had recently was exhausted rest and not rest in Him. I am seeing as of this morning that God wants me to give all of these woes to Him. It is my burden that He has offered to share. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
Lately I've believed a lie that I don't have time to devote to Kingdom things because I have a lot of physical preparations to make. Oh I have time alright, and I've wasted a bunch of it on other things. The "stress reliever" game that I play on my phone is not a burden reliever. Even as I felt compelled to share this revelation on a blog this morning, my mind told me that I don't have time to devote to this, but I would at least get it started. As soon as I opened the blog, my phone rang to postpone one of my morning obligations. Even typing or writing in a journal about His revelation is time meditating on Him and giving Him the burdens. If I give Him my time, He will give me the time I need to complete each task ahead without the weightiness it formerly had.

Matthew 6:25-26 CEV I tell you not to worry about your life. Don't worry about having something to eat, drink, or wear. Isn't life more than food or clothing? 26 Look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds?