I was looking through my blog posts and found several unpublished drafts. This was written in 2013 and never published. I don't know exactly what I was going through at the time, but here it is.
A week or so ago, I read a question asking what we believe God is ultimately calling us to. I had a hard time with that. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now, but haven't considered where I will even be in 5 years. Am I still going to homeschool? Am I still going to teach at church or be a worship leader? Am I even going to keep my unsporting license or will I be back in nursing full-time? I prayed through all of that, but I still don't have an answer to any of those questions. I'm really okay with that, too! Here is what I do know, I am going to leave a mark!
This is not a vision of grandeur or a pipe dream. I am going to leave a mark in history during my lifetime. If I happen to have done that already for someone, then great, but my life isn't over and I'm going to do it again and again until I can no longer move or speak. I am not satisfied with just being a piece of wallpaper, I'm going to be a usable vessel. When I leave this world, I don't really even care if my name is remembered or even my face. The mark I desire to leave is a knowing of the Creator of the universe. The One who formed my face and called it lovely. The One who made my voice and desires to hear it speaking and singing praises to Him who is Worthy of all praise! I want to make known Jesus!
By my actions and by my words, I desire that others will want to know this Jesus, the Word made Flesh. I don't want that they would be turned off to Him because of my hippocracy! I am human, but I want to live what I believe. When others see the best parts of me, I want them to know that it is Him in me. I am not good in my own power. I read a poem to my kids and it took me looking up word to help explain the meaning to them for me to grasp it as well. Wow! It is powerful and reinforces what I've already been contemplating. I will share the last few stanzas here:
A PSALM OF LIFE
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.
Wow! I want to leave footprints on the sands of time! That's my goal. I won't do bizarre stunts so that people will be talking about me. But, if He calls me to do something unusual, I don't want the fear of man to hinder my obedience. I would even be grateful to be a nameless mention, but my action remembered as was the Samaritan woman at the well or the sinful woman who anointed Jesus' feet. Lord, give me words of Life!
When I have spoken His words to someone and they hear with their hearts, let it be His voice they hear, not mine. Let my heart not be offended when they do not remember that I was the vessel for the delivery of the message. May I be reminded that I prayed that all glory be to The Lord of Hosts!
Showing posts with label Kingdom Purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kingdom Purpose. Show all posts
Monday, April 13, 2015
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Slingshot
Recently, I was given the opportunity to lead worship at a conference with invitees from my entire state. I have never led worship in that setting before. I've traveled with other teams and worshiped in other towns, but it has always been under the covering of another worship leader. I am confident in the anointing of worship leader, but this was a different responsibility level than I've ever had before. I've been in a lead role less than a year and though I've been trained for such things, my confidence was a bit shaky for this time.
A few weeks before the conference, I was really questioning the Lord. "Why me?" I am not a school trained musician. I have never taken piano lessons. I do know how to chord, but in over 10 years one would think my skill level would have improved more significantly. I was in my garden telling God about my inadequacy, especially in the keyboarding skills that I have (or lack). I have never heard God speak in an audible voice, but I do recognize when He speaks to me. He spoke very clearly to my heart, "Your keyboard is your slingshot." That was all, but it was enough.
I spent quite some time pondering that statement. My keyboard is my slingshot. Through time in the Word and time of meditation on Him, I have come to understand what He meant. A slingshot in my hands really is insignificant. Even Goliath thought a slingshot was insignificant in David's hands, when he was still alive to think. He taunted saying that Israel thinks he is a dog coming at him with sticks. That slingshot was the tool that God gave David for that moment to accomplish His purpose! It may look insignificant, but it was the exact tool that God wanted used.
My keyboard has sat in different rooms of my home and gets dusty, it is scratched up and one of the keys works when it feels like working, but it is significant in my hands because God said so. Period. I still do not have refined skills. Last Sunday leading worship, I made so many mistakes on it that I lost count. I still pressed into Him. In my weakness He is strong! This tool that may seem insignificant accomplished the purpose that God designed for that conference. I believe it is a lasting Word for me too, His purpose didn't end with that conference. When I am in doubt, I still have His Words to me in my heart. I don't naturally come up with encouraging words for myself. I usually hear the voice of the enemy as my own voice telling me that I am not good enough. I know that I couldn't have thought this up on my own. I wasn't even studying David. I was reading Genesis and Judges at the time.
Here's the thing now. I believe that God is speaking to hearts right now. He has given others a tool or tools that may seem insignificant. A drawing pencil, a computer, a pair of scissors, a football, or a garden rake may seem insignificant, but if God put it in your hands and tells you to use it, it is significant. It is your slingshot. You may not hear His voice, but say you were just drawing a cartoon and someone calls you up and asks if you can help them illustrate a Sunday School lesson. You realize that it is for a higher purpose. That is your slingshot. It may not be as big as a state wide conference or it may be bigger! I don't know, but if He put it in your hand and gave you an opportunity to use if for His glory, it is significant!
I am still a nobody who just wants to be faithful to His Kingdom purpose. My name is not on the lips of many. Very few people have been or will ever be in a service where I lead worship and yet I may travel the world. I just want to be available and go where He sends me. I don't even know how His purposes were accomplished through my keyboard and I may never in this life know, but I believe they were.
Are you ready to pick up your slingshot and use it?
A few weeks before the conference, I was really questioning the Lord. "Why me?" I am not a school trained musician. I have never taken piano lessons. I do know how to chord, but in over 10 years one would think my skill level would have improved more significantly. I was in my garden telling God about my inadequacy, especially in the keyboarding skills that I have (or lack). I have never heard God speak in an audible voice, but I do recognize when He speaks to me. He spoke very clearly to my heart, "Your keyboard is your slingshot." That was all, but it was enough.
I spent quite some time pondering that statement. My keyboard is my slingshot. Through time in the Word and time of meditation on Him, I have come to understand what He meant. A slingshot in my hands really is insignificant. Even Goliath thought a slingshot was insignificant in David's hands, when he was still alive to think. He taunted saying that Israel thinks he is a dog coming at him with sticks. That slingshot was the tool that God gave David for that moment to accomplish His purpose! It may look insignificant, but it was the exact tool that God wanted used.
My keyboard has sat in different rooms of my home and gets dusty, it is scratched up and one of the keys works when it feels like working, but it is significant in my hands because God said so. Period. I still do not have refined skills. Last Sunday leading worship, I made so many mistakes on it that I lost count. I still pressed into Him. In my weakness He is strong! This tool that may seem insignificant accomplished the purpose that God designed for that conference. I believe it is a lasting Word for me too, His purpose didn't end with that conference. When I am in doubt, I still have His Words to me in my heart. I don't naturally come up with encouraging words for myself. I usually hear the voice of the enemy as my own voice telling me that I am not good enough. I know that I couldn't have thought this up on my own. I wasn't even studying David. I was reading Genesis and Judges at the time.
Here's the thing now. I believe that God is speaking to hearts right now. He has given others a tool or tools that may seem insignificant. A drawing pencil, a computer, a pair of scissors, a football, or a garden rake may seem insignificant, but if God put it in your hands and tells you to use it, it is significant. It is your slingshot. You may not hear His voice, but say you were just drawing a cartoon and someone calls you up and asks if you can help them illustrate a Sunday School lesson. You realize that it is for a higher purpose. That is your slingshot. It may not be as big as a state wide conference or it may be bigger! I don't know, but if He put it in your hand and gave you an opportunity to use if for His glory, it is significant!
I am still a nobody who just wants to be faithful to His Kingdom purpose. My name is not on the lips of many. Very few people have been or will ever be in a service where I lead worship and yet I may travel the world. I just want to be available and go where He sends me. I don't even know how His purposes were accomplished through my keyboard and I may never in this life know, but I believe they were.
Are you ready to pick up your slingshot and use it?
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