Drawing Near

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
That has been on my heart this week and I can't shake it.  I actually had it as though it said, "Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you."  Jesus didn't say that exact line.  While he could have said that, it is not recorded in the gospels.  This is a portion of scripture in James 4:8.  It is not even the whole verse nor even the whole context.  Yes, it can stand alone; however, it has more fullness when looking at the whole context.  I'm always amazed when what I thought I knew is only a portion of the fullness of what I can know.

James 4:1-10 NIV  What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? ² You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

⁴ You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? ⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

    “God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”

⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ⁸ Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. ⁹ Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. ¹⁰ Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

¹¹ Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. ¹² There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

I am not a deep theologian, but from this text it appears that James is speaking to a group of people who are not getting along.  James is writing to them and giving them truth and some pointers to overcome these issues.  There are battles within them.  They ask for things with wrong motives.  They are not humble.  He says in verse 7 to submit to God and resist the devil.  Come near to God and He WILL come near to you (verse 8).  Purify your hearts.  Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up (verse 10).  Don't talk about each other.  I believe that out of the overflow of the love you have for Christ, these things will come. 
Holiness isn't something to just sign up for and BOOM you got it.  It is something to work at.  Righteousness is something that comes through seeking the Lord and finding Him.  There are struggles.  There will be struggles.  Jesus was even tempted, and by the Word of God, He overcame.  He desires a relationship with us and in light of that relationship, our desires will be drawn toward Him and no other.
I'm doing studies on the Gospel of John and the epistle of I John in my church right now and it seems like there's a theme in the message Jesus gives to His disciples right before His crucifixion in John 13-16 as well as the message in I John.  I leave you with a few of these scriptures as well as portions of Isaiah 55.  May there be for you Shalom, His peace.

John 13:34-35 ³⁴ “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 14:12-14  ¹² Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³ And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

John 15:5  “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:9-12 ⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

I John 2:9-11 ⁹ Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. ¹⁰ Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. ¹¹ But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

I John 4:7-12 ⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Isaiah 55:1,6-9 

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.

⁶ Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
⁷ Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
    declares the Lord.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

 

In order, to love Him more

Often I have an idea of what I want to write about and know the title before I begin, but not so this time.  I've really been challenged to move up with my relationship with Christ, my husband, my family, and my friends.  I was extremely overwhelmed with feeling like a slug a few weeks ago because I was letting selfishness and truly idleness get between me and my husband which outflows into every other area of my life.  I was keeping up daily Bible time, but some days it was simply Bible time.  I mentioned a week or so ago about a hinge decision that I wanted to make, but follow-through wasn't happening.  It's hard to follow through when you never really start.
I went to a women's conference with my church this last weekend and my heart was pretty convicted about things that I need to get straightened out in my life in order of 1. God 2. marriage 3. self 4. family 5. ministry 6. friendships 7. others.  Yes, I'm failing to some extent in every area of my life ... so I was thinking maybe I need to lay down ministry things for a while until I've worked the rest out.  UH NO!  Actually Holy Spirit was gentle with me and spoke to my heart, "If everyone in ministry laid down ministry while they worked out their issues, no one would be left to minister."  OK.  So I as usual began to mentally come up with how to resolve everything.  A scurry of thoughts came to me and beautiful, Kristi Estrada, shared a little thing that she was frustrated about and as she was, I don't remember if questioning God or frustrated or what and God gently told her that He was not working on that area in her yet.  It was like an epiphany!  No, I realize that I know this deep down, but I cannot fix everything at once.  Like when the Israelites were going into the promised land and little by little they took ground.  It wasn't like Desert ---- Promised Land, BOOM!  No worries!  One thing at a time. Actually solving some things help with others and sometimes eliminates a need to fix other things. 
A house needs a foundation.  A good one.  Let me make sure my foundation is right - ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND.  Okay!  Well since salvation is worked out daily, this is an ongoing process so now I keep this going and because of my love for God, I work on my marriage and my love for my husband is an image of Christ's love for the church.  Actually backward, my marriage should be in the image of Christ's love for the church, because that is perfect and ours is not.  A healthy marriage will help me with self image.  My husband is way more kind to me than I am to myself.  I included self separate from marriage and not because I believe that we are separate, we are one.  I included it because my husband cannot make me eat right and exercise and like who I am and what I look like.  I'm not talking Jezebel adornment, but out of love for those around me, I need to shower and dress appropriately.
So if I am self-confident (not prideful or separate from, or non-reliant on God), have a healthy marriage and a daily relationship with God, the overflow will affect my family.  My children will benefit!  If I have a strong family, my ministry will be more effective, my friendships will be stronger and even beyond that, my witness will be more effective.  To clarify, I am not a paid minister.  I have some ministries that I'm involved in or lead, but you don't have to lead anything to have a ministry.
I ask that readers not pick apart and analyze the order in which I listed.  This isn't some formula for everyone and I likely will not have to systematically go through each step each time I fail in an area, but I do know that if I'm faltering in #1, I am very weak in the rest of these things.  That to me is a non-negotiable number 1.  Really, marriage is a non-negotiable #2.  The rest are sometimes dynamic, they overlap and change order.  I haven't always gotten 1 and 2 right. 
Another aspect of having the foundation in Christ is Holy Spirit.  I Corinthians 3:16 says, "Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?" ESV  Father.  Son.  Holy Spirit.  Having one is having all.  If we pay attention, Holy Spirit will highlight areas that we need to work on.  Recognizing that urging or knowing the right thing to do is not hard, but desiring to follow it is.  I KNOW that sometimes I am sensing the Holy Spirit's direction, but I don't want to obey, so I shove it aside and do something else.  Even in my darkest years of rebellion, I knew when I was doing wrong and made a choice to do wrong.
So now I look upon my life and recognize that I, in my own power am not able to live even remotely an exemplary life.  I can, however, work out my salvation daily and follow His Spirit even when I don't want to.  Do I stop and pray every moment before I do anything?  No.  Do I pray without ceasing?  Sometimes my days are a constant prayer, others not.  Do I pause and pray when I don't know what to do next?  Often.  Do I pray when I'm desperate?  Pretty much!  I am more dependent in desperation than in prosperity and I'm sure many people would say the same.  I'm really striving to live by the Spirit and live in an attitude of prayer.  I'm learning that sometimes non-action is the correct action.  There are times where I'm desperately asking for what I should do and I'm hearing NOTHING!  Well, sometimes I just need to understand that, no action is exactly why I'm not hearing anything when I ask what I need to DO. 
Let us strive to know the Voice of Truth so that we know when to respond rightly.  The enemy is tricky and would love for us to say, "no," to God's voice.  The enemy would love to have us think that we are obeying by changing a few words or getting us to argue or fight about trivial things with others who are Christians.  The best way of knowing the voice of Truth is to read the Bible for ourselves.  When we know the real deal, we will be able to recognize the imitation.

Slingshot

Recently, I was given the opportunity to lead worship at a conference with invitees from my entire state.  I have never led worship in that setting before.  I've traveled with other teams and worshiped in other towns, but it has always been under the covering of another worship leader.  I am confident in the anointing of worship leader, but this was a different responsibility level than I've ever had before.  I've been in a lead role less than a year and though I've been trained for such things, my confidence was a bit shaky for this time.
A few weeks before the conference, I was really questioning the Lord.  "Why me?"  I am not a school trained musician.  I have never taken piano lessons.  I do know how to chord, but in over 10 years one would think my skill level would have improved more significantly.  I was in my garden telling God about my inadequacy, especially in the keyboarding skills that I have (or lack).  I have never heard God speak in an audible voice, but I do recognize when He speaks to me.  He spoke very clearly to my heart, "Your keyboard is your slingshot."  That was all, but it was enough.
I spent quite some time pondering that statement.  My keyboard is my slingshot.  Through time in the Word and time of meditation on Him, I have come to understand what He meant.  A slingshot in my hands really is insignificant.  Even Goliath thought a slingshot was insignificant in David's hands, when he was still alive to think.  He taunted saying that Israel thinks he is a dog coming at him with sticks.  That slingshot was the tool that God gave David for that moment to accomplish His purpose!  It may look insignificant, but it was the exact tool that God wanted used.
My keyboard has sat in different rooms of my home and gets dusty, it is scratched up and one of the keys works when it feels like working, but it is significant in my hands because God said so.  Period.  I still do not have refined skills.  Last Sunday leading worship, I made so many mistakes on it that I lost count.  I still pressed into Him.  In my weakness He is strong!  This tool that may seem insignificant accomplished the purpose that God designed for that conference.  I believe it is a lasting Word for me too, His purpose didn't end with that conference.  When I am in doubt, I still have His Words to me in my heart.  I don't naturally come up with encouraging words for myself.  I usually hear the voice of the enemy as my own voice telling me that I am not good enough.  I know that I couldn't have thought this up on my own.  I wasn't even studying David.  I was reading Genesis and Judges at the time.
Here's the thing now.  I believe that God is speaking to hearts right now.  He has given others a tool or tools that may seem insignificant.  A drawing pencil, a computer, a pair of scissors, a football, or a garden rake may seem insignificant, but if God put it in your hands and tells you to use it, it is significant.  It is your slingshot.  You may not hear His voice, but say you were just drawing a cartoon and someone calls you up and asks if you can help them illustrate a Sunday School lesson.  You realize that it is for a higher purpose.  That is your slingshot.  It may not be as big as a state wide conference or it may be bigger!  I don't know, but if He put it in your hand and gave you an opportunity to use if for His glory, it is significant!
I am still a nobody who just wants to be faithful to His Kingdom purpose.  My name is not on the lips of many.  Very few people have been or will ever be in a service where I lead worship and yet I may travel the world.  I just want to be available and go where He sends me.  I don't even know how His purposes were accomplished through my keyboard and I may never in this life know, but I believe they were.
Are you ready to pick up your slingshot and use it?