Enough?

Philippians 4:12-13 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

These past few months have been an adjustment for our family.  We moved and found a  new church family and began homeschooling.  As my husband said the other day, "we are happier as a family than we've ever been."  That is true we are being united into a family unit unlike we've ever experienced.  There are those few hitches, though.
While we've lived on 1 income for 2 years now, I've learned a lot about budgeting and living without the excess.  There was a lot of excess that I threw away or gave away to prepare for our move too.  Wow, I can't believe how much stuff I've collected through the years.  We were essentially debt free before our move and now we have a few moving expenses and a few bills that couldn't be covered because of  the move.  Well we have a house to sell to take care of those things.  The problem is that the house needs to sell for us to gain the benefits of its sale. We also need to sell a car to pay last years taxes and buy some other things.
Our single income is better than it had ever been and we now have health insurance.  I don't notice the insurance as much because I've learned to live through illness instead of seeking a doctor and God has blessed us with no serious illnesses since a few weeks before I resigned from my job.  I am so grateful for that!  We always have food for the table and it is relatively good food.  We always have enough to pay for all of our bills and have never over in our bank account since we've lived here.  We bought a house in our new location.  We own dependable vehicles.  We get great hand-me down clothes from various places so we are well clothed as well.  God has provided for us!
Lately I've found myself grumbling a lot about the things I don't have.  My steam mop broke, my weed eater broke, my large crock pot broke, our house hasn't sold.  We have to pay a lump sum in taxes while many others get large refunds.  I was comparing what I have and what I do and what I owe with that of other people.  I was griping because our house hasn't sold.  I was complaining because God told us to move here and so our house should have sold right away and our car should sell so we can pay our other bills.  Complaining, complaining, complaining.
The NIV says in Philippians 4:12 "... I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation."  I know this secret, it is Christ!  On Wednesday evening, our Pastor shared and I can't remember his point, but I can at least paraphrase his statement that really hit me hard.  He used the example of a mother working hard to prepare a meal and everyone gets to the table and complains about what has been gifted to them.  Those complaints are just like saying that what has been prepared for them is not good enough.  So as I had been pondering the Philippians verse for several weeks now, Pastor's words struck me in the heart.  When I grumble so much about what I don't have, I'm in a sense telling God that what He has provided is not good enough.  I may say we're as happy as ever and inside I'm griping and whining and discontented.  I've had to backtrack and apologize to God because His provision is more than enough.
When we can't go to the swimming pool every day, we will be together using our imaginations and creativity to enjoy the family that God gave us.  When I don't have extra money from the sale of our house and the lesser payments we need to make each month, I need to live a more disciplined life.  I am not as wasteful of the provisions He has given to us.  I am not as wasteful of the time He has given to me because I have to be more deliberate with my planning.
In the last 2 days of reflections, I'm learning to thank God for His provisions for me and my family.  I am learning not to complain in my heart about the things that we cannot afford right now.  I will strive to control my conversations when someone asks if our house has sold and guard my heart from anger, bitterness and discontent.  Many mothers cannot stay home and enjoy their children in the way that I get to enjoy mine.  This joy that I have is not always laughing and feeling on top of the world, but it is an inner fountain that is irreplaceable.
God is good!  He is Good!  His provision is more than enough!